“Women want to wear what they do
because of
what goes on in their heads.
Their size and shape have
practically nothing to do with it.”
― Elizabeth Hawes
That is so the case for me. Elizabeth
Hawes had it right. (If you're unfamiliar with this prolific American
designer and writer - as I was - look HERE for a brief biography.) I've always admired a style that is best
suited to a much taller, thinner woman. But I've also always been
aware that along with the rest of my other unattainable ideals, all
my realistic style aspirations and choices start with something I'm
thinking about. Whether its a yearning to be tall and cool, or being
taken with a color, or a referential bit of narrative, or a
silhouette, it is really all starts in my head and in my mind's eye.
Riffing on Hawes' quote, I'd say that
"What I wear shows what's on my mind." My ideas and world
view have changed as I grow older, and they also have and do
influence my style choices. Clearly and happily, I'm not alone in
that, as all the style blog-world attests.
If Hawes was writing today she might
have added age to "size and shape". We are all
learning to dress to flatter our shapes rather than consider
age-appropriateness first. But it's still on our minds.
Of late, I've seen a lot of stuff about
age-appropriate dressing in the corners of the Blogosphere where I
graze. And some of it is about resistance to the idea of rules
about what is or what is not age appropriate. Over at her blog, Vix,
the always fascinating and ever colorful Vintage Vixen , recently gave
vent to a concise and sensible rant HERE about being inundated with rules for dressing, and particularly
dressing specifically for one's age.
One of the world's best over-40
bloggers, the amazing Bella of The Citizen Rosebud has, in a
thoughtful and touching post HERE , challenged older women to remember to value their bodies and
sexuality by posting their own pin-up style photos of themselves.
She featured a professional nude pin-up, aged 66, as an example of
her point ( but I'm pretty sure she didn't expect any of us to turn
up nude on our own blogs.) Bella rose to the occasion and posted a
lovely (clothed!) pin-up of herself. That's a brave thing to do, and
I see the value in the challenge. I strongly recommend a trip over
to read the post, but please don't skip reading the
comments. What you'll find is a huge diversity of really well
considered opinion on what is sexy and how we all deal with the
presentation of ourselves as we age.
For women especially, aging and
sexuality are intertwined issues and we've been talking about it
publicly for decades. There are massive libraries full of material
written about the objectification of women as sexual objects, and
probably similar numbers of articles and books written about freedom
to express sexuality through style and self-presentation at any
(legal!) age. But those ideas are still changing and it appears that
there's more to be said.
Over the last half century or so, we've
become comfortable with the idea that the desire for love, sex and
self-understanding is not just the province of the young. Most of us
no longer view sexuality and sensuality as restricted to
child-bearing years. And we've also learned that "being sexy"
has less to do with dressing in overtly provocative ways as it does
with what's going on in the old noggin. Ideas about all this are
evolving still, affecting what we think, do and wear, and we seem to
still need to talk about it.
And as the aging population increases,
and we continue to speak and think about sex, changing bodies and
style, there are issues we haven't even addressed much yet. One of
those things is the freedom that age brings for a lot of women. I
personally am reveling in being way beyond an age where I give
any thought to being seen as nubile, or fertile or even youthful. We no longer need those qualities to
feel valuable and still vital and attractive as a woman.
This has
nothing to do, by the way, with being happily married, unattached or
somewhere in between. To a large degree, this has to do with an
appreciation of no longer being either consciously or subconsciously
driven by the biologically hard-wired imperative to mate for
reproduction purposes. I'm especially happy to be beyond menopause;
that transitional time of life when biology and social pressures send
the body and mind into a hormonal tizzy, firmly and dramatically
signaling the end of the reproductive time of a woman's life.
This freedom is bound to change your
attitude, one way or another, and it will affect what we think about
and wear. Frankly, I think that's going to be one of the most
interesting age-related conversations ever!
And as an aged woman who lives in a
particularly restrictive shopping environment that is focused on a
much younger demographic, I have my own issues with age-appropriate
dressing. I really do care if I appear to be "dressing as
lamb." The reason that I care is because I really don't
particularly need to be seen as younger than I am, nor do I wish to
be seen as stogy and out of touch with what's happening out in the
world beyond my little patch. But I especially don't want to be seen
as hanging on to youth with both hands in what is already a battle
lost. Too late. I'm already old. But that doesn't mean that I want
to be completely defined by my age, either.
What I want to do is to dress so
that my age is irrelevant. That even seems a tall order to me,
and probably requires some serious thought and consideration. Some
supporting information seems in order. And I'm most likely to get it
from my peers.
So, I'm interested in discussions of
what may or may not be appropriate concerning the age-appropriate. I
read that stuff, to increase my understanding of how age and style
work together. I'd like to be confidently aware of what works only
for the young and what is merely youthful and can be more widely
used. But more than that, I want to decide for myself if an
age-issue dictum is valid or just what some twenty-something editor
happened to pull out from where the sun never shines.
Case in point:
I don't believe in the current style myth that if you were old enough
to have worn a style the first time around, you shouldn't attempt it
in revival. That's the biggest steaming crock of ageism that I ever
saw presented in print. What complete nonsense! Who can do it better
than someone who already knows first-hand how it was done originally?
And who says that we elders don't have the taste and style to keep
it relevant and adapt it contemporarily the second time around?
So, I'd hope that along with the other
kinds of ageism that is applied to those of us who are no longer
young or even youthful, that we shouldn't be discouraged to address
these concerns among ourselves. If there's one thing the Over 40- 50-
60-70-80 Plus Bloggers are good at, it's accepting diversity within
how we display our personal style, and providing support for each
other in the doing of it. The discussion of age, aging, and
age-appropriateness and how they affect our personal styles is
something I want to hear more of rather than less.
Just without making up a bunch of rules
around it. 'Cause that's how we old lady bloggers roll.
This is a more or less obligatory outfit photo, and you've seen the bottom half before. Both top and bottom are pieces from a junior department, though, and I think they work anyway. ( I just love this little top!)
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Come over and see what we're up to!
