If I hear Heidi Freaking Klum or Nina
Freaking Garcia say one more time, "That looks old lady"
when they mean dowdy, old fashioned, unfashionable, outmoded,
out-of-date, passé, unstylish, or frumpy, I will be forced to
reconsider my weekly indulgence in one of my favorite guilty
pleasures: watching Project Runway. (I participate in lots of other
light-minded pleasures and activities. I just don't feel guilty when
I indulge in them.)
I'll miss you, Tim Gunn. But I have to
say, Tim, you should be all over this one and on my side.
It is just plain ageist, incorrect and
mean-spirited to employ two words that describe an at least
passably well-behaved and civilized woman who has attained a
considerable number of years past her youth when
Ms Klum attempts to describe an especially unhip outfit made by one
of the anxious competitors. The fact of a woman's age doesn't and never should automatically define her stylishness or un. When Klum says this, she
implies that we old women look dowdy in whatever we're wearing
simply because we are not young, no matter how great our clothing
might be without us in them. Oldness makes everything about us
uncool.
She
uses this phrase fairly frequently, and I cringe for her when she
does it. I try to remember that as a non-native speaker she does
worlds better in English than I do in her native German, and I can
understand her searching for a word while on camera. But it isn't
live-broadcast, so somebody needs to look at editing out this gaffe
the next time it occurs. Really, it's important to at least be clear
and respectful when she's paid as much as she is to opine about
something as subjective as the hipness of clothing design.
Garcia
often climbs on the band-wagon with Klum, but sometimes has the grace
to use other, only slightly less offensive terms such as madame,
or mother-of-the-bride
in the same insensitive way. As
the 49-year-old mother of young sons, it is likely that she will one
day wear her carefully chosen and couture outfits at the nuptials of
her grown boys, and she won't be a spring chicken by that time,
either. I guarantee that she won't like to hear her ensemble
unkindly described as "soooo mother-of-the-groom."
I'd offer her the excuse that she may well not have been a childhood
speaker of idiomatic English as she was born in Columbia, but I
won't because she holds a bachelor's degree from Boston
University as well as a second one from FIT.
Yooo-hooo, Ms. Klum and Ms. Garcia.
Hellooooo. We're sitting right here in front of the TV. We're old
but we can still hear you.
I know. It's American Reality TV.
Therefore, I should not be surprised. I also know this isn't
so-much-of-a-much all in itself, and the next, most obvious step
should be to let it go now that I've vented. But it's been a week
where I've been noticing more disdain exhibited towards older women
than usual in our language and popular culture and media, and it's
been frustrating. I beg that my darling vintage-enthusiast friends
will cut me a bit of slack and not pummel me for equating only
current, knife-edge newness with great style. I do not mean that at
all. It's the equation of advanced age and non-style that I object
to. I've been chastised black and blue because I neglected to
clarify my smarty-pants glibness. Completely black and blue, I tell
you.
In fact, since I'm bound to offend
someone, I'll apologize ahead of time and show my contrition by
wearing my black and blue shame right out in the open; in a very soft
and comforting blue Max Studio extra-fine merino wool sweater over my
Old Navy black and blue hounds-tooth Pixie Pants. And my navy,
cobalt and black suede d'Orsay ankle-strap pumps ... more black and
blue, from me to you.
Oh, yeah. And my sleek and snazzy Old
Lady bag, too.
Snap to you, Heidi.
Taking this silliness to the Lovely
Lacy Patti at her Visible Monday link-up.
Hope to see you there.
