Monday, April 1, 2013

A Man of a Certain Age




We women of a certain age are not the only ones who feel the pressure to sit down, shut up and fade away. So do many of our fathers, husbands, significant-others, brothers, sons, guy-friends and co-workers. One of those older guys who share in our rebelliousness is my husband Dan. He is the inspiration for and subject of this week's post. If you saw him in his work clothes, you might not guess that under the boring old polo shirt beats the heart of a clothes horse.

And, it might surprise you to know that he's got some interesting ideas about style that are informed by his old college major: sociology. He took his degree in this field, and although he didn't choose a profession in it, his observations of group and individual behavior in the context of society have resulted in some pretty cool attitudes about fashion. His nerdy thoughts about the presentation of self lead us to some pretty interesting conversations about the much more fun issue of what to wear. And that's not always an uncomplicated topic at our house.

Most women of my generation were taught early on that if you wanted to be treated like a lady, then you'd better dress like one. And Dan figured out pretty early that personal presentation was not just an issue for girls. Once he internalized that, it was only a short leap to the understanding that the counter-culture, non-conformist image he hoped to project could be greatly enhanced by the way he dressed. And from there, he learned that even subtle elements in the way he dressed gave people hints and cues about how he wanted to be treated, resulting in a little more control in the often insecure world of his youth.

Dan says that his choices now, as an older adult, reflect his desire to differentiate himself. "It's one of the ways I avoid complete assimilation into rural culture," he says. "What I wear helps to maintain my urban sensibilities in an rural environment." So nowadays, we dress up a bit when we go into the Big City to shop, go out to dinner or even just run errands. Bear in mind that dressing up here only means stepping it up from work t-shirt and jeans for a lot of people. Our local Big City is an extremely casual place.

He also says "Like most men I know, I thought I knew how to dress before I got married." (This comment he says completely without sarcasm ... isn't that adorable?) And he adds, "Besides, I really like it when my wife says I look good."

Awww.

Not only is my huz very smart, he's also charming!



My own recent foray into the arcane practice of print and pattern mixing has inspired a few of his own choices. He's got a good eye for it, and more than once has made some spot-on suggestions about how I might combine elements from my own closet.

                                                              


I particularly like this scarf with this jacket, simple
sweater and driving cap.(His odd shoes are a kind of gillie ... he has arthritis in his feet, and has difficulties wearing regular shoes.
He wears them confidently, and that usually works pretty well!)


   Blue and brown. 
 A favorite combination of colors on my favorite person


 
I think this is his version of the Zoolander
"Blue Steel" look.  
Hazel Steel.
And I really like his slim red jeans. 
 Keeps him looking modern.



Teal slims, plaid shirt, brown gillies ...
Spring is here for me!



And, last but not least ... had to do a drawing.

*********************

Showing UP and OUT with the
memorable Patti at Visible Monday 


Thanks for stopping by.  Please feel free to make comments, ask questions or just say hello!
I read everything, and try to reply to every comment.  

58 comments:

  1. Wow! Dan The Man! You are handsome and then some. And what a confident sense of style. I do hope you have an old MG Roadster for driving those Fort Smith country roads. I think I'm most impressed with the variety of colours that you have in your wardrobe. {Duh, I would notice the colours, of course.} My husband can get a bit stuck on blue, which isn't entirely his fault. We both find that the selection in menswear is more limited.

    Jan, thanks for sharing your smart and charming husband with us.

    Sue xo

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    1. Thanks so much, Bright Sue! I agree, he's a handsome guy ... and I love it how he stands up straight for his photos! And confident. He's loving this attention, too ... not so much out of vanity, but he's so often the observer. He likes to be seen just like the rest of us.
      Blue is a staple for guys, isn't it. Dan doesn't look great in beige or warm neutrals, but he's just as happy in cool colors generally. Lucky thing, that. He's a pretty good prowler at TJ Max for his own wardrobe goodies.

      Funny that you should mention an MG Roadster. Always wanted one, and had a girlfriend who was going to sell her's to me a long time ago. The day before I was going to hand her the money, she ran into the back end of a big ol' Buick and totaled the never-to-be-mine Roadster. Crap.
      Hadn't thought of that in years.

      Anyway ... have a good week. So glad, as always to get to hear from you, and see what you're up to in return!

      Delete
  2. Well, I had a nice long post, and google seems to have lost it. Let's see how my short term memory serves me.

    Wow! Dan The Man! You are handsome and then some. You dress with an easy confidence, but still very approachable. I hope you have an old MG Roadster for driving Fort Smith's country roads. I am very impressed with the variety of colours you have in your wardrobe. {Duh, I would notice the colours, now wouldn't I.} My husband ends up with a lot of blue clothing. It's not entirely his fault. We both find the selection of colours limiting in menswear, unless one is shopping in higher end clothing stores.

    Jan, thanks for sharing your very smart and charming husband today.

    Sue xo

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    1. Oooohhhh. Deja vu!

      Thanks so much, Bright Sue! I agree, he's a handsome guy ...
      (Kidding!You did a great reconstruction!!!)

      Delete
  3. Wow your hubby is styling! I could not for the life of me to get my hubby to wear colored pants and probably not in my life time - any pattern mixing.

    Alice
    www.happinessatmidlife.com

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    1. He is pretty cool about these things. That, in turn, keeps him reasonable about my wardrobe lust. "If you can't beat 'um, join 'um" seems to be his motto.
      Thanks for reading, Alice, and your own blog as well!

      Delete
  4. Not only does he look great, I can feel the love you have for each other in this post. The two of you must light up the town when you step out together. That's REAL style, with substance. Doesn't get any better.

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    1. We try to have a little fun here, Jean. Not many places to go, but we try to make the most of it. He's my world. And he's wanted a drawing of himself forever, so I'm glad he enjoyed this whole process.

      Have a great week, O Gorgeous One!
      Thanks for reading, and your own writing.

      Delete
  5. Well hello Mr FSS! What a stylish guy! As you say wearing things with confidence is half the secret of style - love his coloured jeans, his use of colour and his hats. And he looks mighty fine in a Breton stripe! What a fab post - I really enjoyed reading this. It is nice to be with a man that understands the importance of dress and who makes the perfect partner in crime to get dressed up to go out together! Mr V's mother owned a high end fashion boutique so luckily her son grew up with that sensibility about dress. He doesn't always like shopping per se but he does have an eye for colour, cut and quality which means I often seek his opinion on my purchases. Think he'd have a lot in common with your Huz on the issue of fashion for men!
    Your portrait of him was so striking! An amazing likeness! You're a very talented lady.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. He's really over the moon with the drawing ... I'm a selfish cow for not doing one sooner for him. He had such a fine time making this collection of photos.
      If you had to choose a mother-in-law, you could scarcely find a more advantageous profession for her! Nice that her son "gets it." Dan shops with me often, but we particularly like those shops where there is a comfortable chair or two near the front, and good light for reading. I don't know why more shops don't make a Spouse Spot for the guys. Dan is beyond patient if he has a comfy place to read his Kindle. The danger is an impromptu, involuntary nap!
      Ye Gads ... it's winter here again today. Rain, wind, cold, and it will be again tomorrow. Yikes. I'll be happy anyway and drag out my favorite winter things and enjoy them one last day before storage.
      Hope I made it clear how much I enjoyed your post on the cheongsam ... loved it.
      Have a great week, and I wish you sun!

      Delete
  6. Okay I am in love with look # 4. Very on trend with the bright coloured jeans and plaid shirt. Plus I just love that he wears hats. Although my husband collects lots of hats it is another thing to get him to actually wear them out. I find it really distinguishes a man.

    We should all do a Men's Monday or something. It is great to see our significant others in the spotlight.

    bisous
    Suzanne

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    1. I intend to add pics of him from time to time when he looks particularly fetching.
      We get an amazing number of great hats for him here, in spite of our ruralness. He has a very large noggin. Very large, and there's always one in his size left! Size does, it seems, count!

      So glad for your good news. Keep writing ... there is value in it.
      Thanks for stopping by, as always.

      Delete
  7. What a great idea! Not only is your husband a handsome man but he's also stylist. Your painting captures your love for him, especially in the eyes and smile. We sometime do as you do--dress with a little extra special touch when we go out. Minneapolis can be to casual, to any jeans and sweat pants, for our taste. Thanks for your thoughtful comment on my blog! Men with style need to be celebrated.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. He's really enjoying a post about himself! I'm always grateful that he likes and understands why it's important to communicate this way.

      I always enjoy your blog, Ann. You are very talented, and it's always an interesting visit.
      Thanks for stopping by here.

      Delete
  8. Wow, handsome and with a great sense of personal style. And smart too (he picked you, after all). I really enjoyed this feature and I like Suzannes idea of featuring the guys once in a while. Thanks for linking up to Visible Monday

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    1. He's much more attractive than he thinks he is ... I should be smart and keep it that way! Not sure who picked whom. I vaguely remember tackling him, trussing him up ... something about Stockholm Syndrome.
      He had a blast doing this, and I know he'd love to do it again. Now that he knows it's possible, I'll bet he ups his game a bit!
      Thanks again for reading and your own blog. And of course, all the hosting,
      J

      Delete
  9. If I could post a wolf whistle, I would! I LOVE that he wears bright colored pants, I can't get my DH to even look at them. I think he shows a great sense of panache in all his looks, thank you for sharing him with us.

    xo,
    Alyssa

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    1. He's having WAY too much fun with this. He does look sharp for an old guy, doesn't he. Panache, he has in spades.

      It's raining and cold here. The same tomorrow and until the weekend, it seems. Need to pick out the best of my winter stuff and enjoy it one more time before it gets to be 105 degrees.

      Have a great week! Looking forward to your next post...
      J

      Delete
  10. Wow, your husband is handsome as well as being a very stylish dresser. He looks a little like mine -- think it's the beard and grey hair but not the fashion sense. My husband thinks a polo shirt and shorts are the style statement for every event :)
    You left a comment on my blog about an absolutely wonderful drink that I'm going to try, but I was wondering what the name of your restaurant is and where it's located. May get to your town someday!
    Heather from Friendship, Life and Style

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    1. Thank you, Heather! I've seen your husband on your blog, and I see what you mean. Although, he was looking pretty distinguished himself, but I think he WAS wearing a polo shirt!

      Our tiny restaurant is in West-Central Arkansas. The name is Kelts Pub and Restaurant. I'd be surprised if you ever got down here, but would love to see you if you do.
      www.keltspubinfo.com is our site, and you can see more. Will update for the weekend on Friday.
      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  11. The way that you write about your husband, the photos that you post and your perceptive drawing touched me. Sounds like a relationship to be treasured and it's always a treat to see a man that knows how to wear a great hat.

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    1. He has a big head! No, really, a very big head. He wears a 7.5 and a bit larger much of the time. And that yields a surprising number of hats available for him, 'cause there's always some left in his size.
      Yes, he's my true love. You know about that, and I so appreciate you sweet words.
      Thank you, Judith.

      Delete
  12. Interesting post, Jan. I hadn't thought about older men worrying about dressing fashionably. I'm lucky if I can get DH to wear clothes. I do like men in hats. Except those wretched baseball caps, and most especially if they wear them any way but front facing. May as well just wear a sign that says, "I am a dumb-ass". Thanks for the kind words at my blog by the way.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. O God! Baseball caps! You surely do not live in the south. Some of them actually have your sign embroidered right on them! And they are everywhere.

      Nope... no baseball caps.
      I always appreciate your fashion post, and love your painting posts equally.

      Delete
  13. Jan, this is wonderful.
    A very handsome fella! And so "on trend"!

    Keep on sketching!
    xo

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    1. Thank you, Anne. He had some fun doing this, and never fails to surprise me. He is pretty cute, isn't he. After over 20 years, the light changes when he walks in a room. I swear to you everything gets sharper and colors more saturated. Just saying.
      J

      Delete
  14. Wonderful, wonderful post Jan. Sometimes, we as women, get so caught up in this blogging world that we forget to give tribute to the ones who love and support us the most. You just did a fantastic job of reminding us what gifts many of us have. What a great (and stylish) hubby you have. And so adorable that he would let you share these with us. I thought I would comment on my favorite but hm, that's hard to do because the first photo I'm so loving the pattern mixture of the stripes and plaids, and then the brown and blues (which I think is my favorite) is all around great, but then I see this older guy sporting red trousers and I'm thinking, you go Jan. Anyways, thanks for this wonderful, insightful posts, it made my day. Tell Dan I loved his quote.

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    1. How nice of you to say so, Trina. He's not bad for an old dude, is he? He's one of those men who looks better in maturity than in his youth.
      I'll tell him!
      Have a great week!

      Delete
  15. Finally a stylish husband! I like that he wear hats & his outfits are rather dashing I must say. My husband is 50 but dresses like he is still 17....tee shirt & jeans! Great post Jan!
    Denise

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    1. He's pleased with the result. He's always involved in my projects and is no end of support. And he's cute. So cute.
      I'll tell him you said "dashing" ... he'll really like that.

      Delete
  16. What a well dressed fella! I'm still teaching my DH to dress up, he's got his own sense of style though. With compromise he usually cleans up nicely. I adore men's wear and think a guy who dresses nice is a blessing!

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    1. Here's the good news ... they get more conscientious AND conscious as they age! You have the raw material if you can get him decently tidied now ... he'll do the rest.

      Kidding aside, Dan's mellowed with the times. He's never been a follower, and is pretty much fearless these days about appearance. I'm just glad he gives a flip at all.

      Thanks for stopping by, Megan!

      Delete
  17. I agree, he is adorable! It looks like we both found keepers. Wonderful post, great pictures and an amazing drawing. What a couple!

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    1. Thanks, Laurie! Good to have a guy you can count on. But I still cannot get over the fact he bought you the Tardis socks.
      Amazing guy you have there!

      Delete
  18. What a great idea, Jan. I really enjoyed reading about and looking at the photos of your husband's stylin'. Quite a fashionable guy you got there. And I love the drawing you did of him too. Hmmm, I wonder if I could get my true love in front of the camera. But then again, he only wears black - black jeans, black shoes, black sox, you get the idea. I guess one picture would do it.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Yeah, but it could be one very cool picture!

      Dan's been after me to draw him forever, so this seemed like a good time. What I love best about his clothing choices is that he always knows why he wears an item.

      Thanks for reading, and your own blog, Pao.
      Now, what to do with the very odd SIA thing....

      Delete
  19. What a great post!
    Your husband is indeed very handsome and stylish, reminds me a bit of an artist, French maybe... nice to see he is not mainstream but very individual and confident in his outfits, style and posing.

    And I love the way you describe and write about him, I can feel your strong relationship and love.

    Annette
    Lady of Style

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    1. I've always liked his confidence. Quiet, but pretty fearless when it comes to things sartorial. He's a great cook and has a lovely baritone singing voice, as well, so that qualifies as artistic.
      Thanks for your very kind comments ... this was fun to write.
      And thanks for stopping in.

      Delete
  20. You found yourself a super-stylish and handsome man, Jan. And more to the point, an intelligent and thoughtful one! Love his use of colours (most men seem scared of colour) and hats. What a cool couple you are! xxx

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    1. Don't know how cool we are, but I concur with the rest of your comment, Curtise! He's a mensch.
      Have a great week, and I'm always so glad to see you stop by for a chat.
      J

      Delete
  21. Dang, Jan, so debonaire and what a sharp dresser. You too are so well suited for each other. I'm seriously so impressed and will be showing this post to my hubby. He could definitely benefit from taking a page from your hubby's style book.

    Your drawing (and writing) is amazing as always.

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    1. Yup, that he is. Glad you liked the post, Alison. Thinking about you, kid, and hoping all is going forward. Meant to mention to you ... hope you can take at least a few days and go do some of the things you've been wanting to do but couldn't because of job. They're really going to miss you, I know.
      Too bad for them.
      Big old hug, if you like them,
      J

      Delete
  22. Hi there!! You have a very dapper and stylish husband, he really looks amazing in all of these different outfits and that is an awesome drawing too! xx

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    1. I thank you on his behalf. He's looking good these days, I agree! Also glad you liked his "portrait", and I'm happy he was pleased with it, too!
      Have a great week, and thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  23. Jan, your husband is SO fashionable! What a great sense of style. And red jeans even! I keep pointing out to my husband just how many men (on tv, movies, and real life) I have seen wearing this color of pants. Seems to be very popular.

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    1. And he picked the red jeans out himself! He's kind of taken with color this year ... good to see. He has very conservative taste usually, and it's nice to see a stretch from him.
      Thanks for dropping by, Lisa. Looking forward to what you come up with next.

      Delete
  24. Hello Jan,
    A good-looking and stylish man is your husband. I like that he is wearing colors and patterns as a matter of course. Many men - mine too - prefering a unique look wearing black and brown and grey. I will show mine your pics to give him an inspiration.
    Thank you dear for this great post!

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    1. Thank you, Sabine! He's wearing more patterns this year, and is getting into print mixing just a bit. I like him in a slimmer pant as well ... a little younger looking without seeming too young.
      I appreciate your kind comments, and am so glad you stopped by!

      Delete
  25. You are such a good writer Jan, and this post might have been one of my favorite posts from you so far! Very interesting to get your handsome hubby's thought about dressing. I do agree that we are sending signals by how we are dressed, and at least in the beginning we are also judged by our clothes. Thank You so much for this post!
    Jan, if you get this message for the third time, my apologies, but it do not see my comment on your post (or the previous posts I have commented on!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I've figured out what happened with lost posts, this time anyway ... I had the three you sent come in within just minutes of each other. They all showed up on my end, but I moderate all comments (too much danger of spam otherwise) and sometimes I don't see them for hours after they come in. Thank you for the extra effort, but it takes me a while to get them up sometimes! I understood what happened, so I just deleted the other two identical posts. Thanks for your patience!

      And thanks too, for you kind comments. He noted the other day that first impressions have to work so much harder for us these days, as with the speed of everything, we don't always get a second chance! I think he's right.

      Glad you stopped by ... will see you soon!

      Delete
  26. He's a natty dresser, that Huz of yours. I'm impressed to see color and jeans, I wish I was seeing some of that here...
    The SIA is not outrageous this time (once you see past the picture itzelf). It boils down to polkadots and Americana, really. Neither of which I have in my wardrobe - so there. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone's creative entries.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hey, Juli! It was really fun to prowl around your site for a bit. You're doing such great renewing and redesigning ... the tee-shirts and cashmere sweater were fantastic.
    Do you know Dross into Gold http://www.drossintogold.com by the wonderul Jean? She and you have a great deal in common. Do stop by her blog if you get a chance.

    Thanks for your kind comments. He does look pretty good, doesn't he?
    I'm going literal for the SIA ... with some humor, I hope. These projects always take twice as long as I think!

    Have a great week, and thank you so much for stopping by!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I totally love this post - your Monsieur looks handsome and charming! The portrait is wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Oh, thank you so much! Glad you stopped by and that you enjoyed Dan's little moment in the spotlight!

      Sorry for the delay in the posting of your sweet note. I have to moderate all comments here ( good old Anonymous sneaks through if I don't) and I don't always see the real thing right away. Sometimes for a whole day! It's inconvenient I know, so thanks for your patience and for your persistence ... so nice that anyone cares to comment!

      Delete
  29. Oh, wow, your man is very dapper! I love seeing men play with their looks and trying new things. Bravo to him for putting himself out there!

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  30. Your husband is too cute! I love his choices...subtle and understated, yet totally hip. I try to get my husband to try new things...maybe roll up his jeans or something mellow like that? But no chance! The best I can do is to buy him some great pieces and suggest that he wear them once in awhile!

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  31. Your huz is very handsome!! I absolutely adore his colored jeans! I wish my husband had half his style! His ensembles consist of his (dirty Braves)hat, jeans that he needs to pull up (cause let's face it, you can't do that after you've turned 30...actually it's not attractive at any age) and some form of T-shirt. And he think that IS style. Maybe your hubby could give mine a call! ;) Big fan already; you've got a new follower, Jan!

    Lindsey
    High Heels and Training Wheels

    ReplyDelete

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